i was pregnant 9 weeks...the first day i had bleeding, i told myself..
" something is not right...i never had early pregnancy bleeding during my 1st pregnancy"
oh..btw, it was unplanned pregnancy for me..me n hubby didnt plan to get 2nd baby as my lil girl still needs our attention...however, my menstrual cycle became haywire..and i was "accidentaly" pregnant..
We have mixed feelings at first..
.can we raise 2 kids at this moment?are we ready for the 2nd child?how will arissa adapt with sharing our love with a sibling?
However,we accept the news and was excited =)
ok2..back to the story of my lost..i had a motherly instinct, there's something wrong with my fetus..i hope the bleeding wont lead to misscariage..the ultrasound scan looks normal..so,i console myself to be positive, it did work for 1 week.
1 week later..the bleeding still persist (just staining my panty liner every day) ..so i went for 2nd scan, the doctor told me..." i think u had missed misscariage. i advice for d+c"
At first i was not sad...coz i had the feeling earlier that i will somehow lose this fetus..i calmly went back to kl the next day, to see my gynae consultant...I was admitted to hospital and my gynae decided to wait for a day...
At 3am that morning, i felt contraction pain...and i passed out 6 big blood clots..and placenta...It was INCOMPLETE...so, d+ c done at 10.30 am...
I was accepting this calmly..til the night after d+c..i cant sleep, and i heard babies crying..the next room patient has delivered..suddenly i cant help myself..i cried myself to sleep..The next few days,i start to recover from grief. I accept the fate,Allah knows whats best for us..It's all to test our IMAN..
A lost is still a lost..no matter, how small or how invaluable the things are..Sometimes,we simply didnt appreciate something til we lost it...
im sure everyone experience this moment before..we didnt appreciate a thing like a pen,an old watch..but once we lost it, we felt sad n started to reminisce the good times together..but we move on sooner or later...=)